Sunday, March 27, 2011

Better Learn To Swim

I work primarily as a solo act. This is the result of desire at times but also because it's all that is available. Living in Waco has the unfortunate drawback of lacking the age demographic to which I belong. Thus, I've learned how to do a number of things on my own...things that most people would not seek out. While it was out of necessity for me, I think it's important for everyone to learn self-reliance. I am not suggesting that people venture out on their own all the time. People need human interaction and there is also safety to keep in mind. That being said, the philosophy that you have to "be comfortable with yourself before you can be comfortable with someone else" and that you must "know thyself" is important and is often missing in people's lives. Discovery, introspection, self-awareness, self-esteem, self-concepts all must really be obtained in order for others to truly know us. A number of relationships come about based on one or both members needing to be needed or needing support. The notion of "being in love with the idea of love" comes to mind. A relationship then has a direct correlation with the level of one's self-esteem.
The solution, in my opinion, is to throw yourself into the deep end of the pool. The more we coddle ourselves and allow ourselves to be coddled causes a massive disservice in the long-term. Granted, this is a difficult thing to do. No one initially likes being out in the cold. However, you learn a lot about yourself and your level of resourcefulness and through trial and error you discover the myriad amounts of things you can do on your own. Each success and victory then gives the momentum to continue. Beginning with little things like going to restaurants and movies alone to going to bars and talking with random people to traveling alone. This requires us to force ourselves out of our comfort zones. A feat few are able to accomplish without the prompt of a dare of having lost a bet. Failures no doubt will occur; such is the nature of things. However, a rational person realizes that any successful person has failed more than they've any respect. The only difference between one who is a failure and one who is a success, is that the successful person learns from his or her mistakes, takes stock, and tries again. The "scatter technique" suggests that out of a one hundred tries, there are bound to be at least some victories. This is also supported by the "law of averages" I suppose.
Self-reliance teaches us that we like being around people, but that we don't always need them. The freedom of being comfortable with oneself can open doors to more opportunities than was originally thought. After all, the one we've convinced ourselves is a "must-have" might have us tied down and anchored and in the end might actually be the one who pulls us beneath the water.

"....then I'll do what my father did to me when I was five...lure you to the edge of the pool with a puppy, and push you in." -Jack Donaghy, 30 Rock

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